Saying goodbye to an old friend is never easy. From what I’ve found out, saying goodbye to an old ambition is losing a part of yourself. Saying goodbye to my love of movies, art and creative writing in general is like closing a door to who I was. When I was Kevin I dreamt about being a filmmaker—I wanted to be a filmmaker. But as time went on, like being Kevin, that wasn’t my future. I had thought of putting up a series of video blogs as a way of saying farewell and posting the films themselves, but the amount of work was unrealistic to do it (considering how little free time I usually have—right now would be different but you never know). So before the ignition of Year Four, I’ve decided to post my last work, no not the children’s novel, but the play “The Next Counter”, in Seven parts.
Now in seven parts because it is really seven scenes, even though it is over seventy pages. Even though I wrote these under the name of Keira Lewis, I still feel that they are part of Kevin’s works; therefore, a formal farewell is in order. Before and after each part I will provide my little commentary. So without further ado, here it is… my last written work, “The Next Counter”….
COMMENTARY:
What you’re about to read is part one, the opening of the play, which takes place in the future, or a depressing future of sorts. My place of mine at the time was more or less hopeful. I set the play on my actual thirtieth birthday (May 8th, 2013), however, I wrote this one year and two months (March to April 2008) before my mental thirtieth birthday (May 8th, 2009)—that whole four year thing. So I was feeling the end of my twenties coming and I felt that youth was at an end. And, to me, what would be more depressing than still working at the Enemy at age thirty and on top of that, my birthday gift being the announcement of an element my youth being ripped apart by Hollywood like every other piece of garbage they’ve released lately. As you probably know, “Back to the Future” (1985) and its following movies made the trilogy that made my life, so a radio announcement of the remake starring Hannah Montana as Marty in Alternate reality version to be released on the movie’s thirtieth birthday is more insult to injury. I guess it really shows what I cared about, even though at the time my love of movies was on life support. (Of course, as you know, even after “The Dark Knight” (2008) the plug was still pulled.) Anyway, there are other jokes I can mention, but I’ll let the work speak for itself.
"THE NEXT COUNTER"
(pt. 1 of 7)
SCENE I:
RAISE CURTAIN:
...to a dark stage, spotlighting a BOOMBOX rested on a table in the centre. The Ghostly echo of the future through the sound of DJ VOICE delivering events to possibly come broadcasts over the device.
DJ VOICE
...Tensions have risen as the war continues on all fronts... Congress will appropriate fifteen trillion for the continued effort.... In local news, the Aces lost 7-6 against the Cubs in the Ninth inning in Chicago, placing our team in last and pushing the Cubbies to first... The Mayor said this becoming the fifth consecutive losing season for the Aces may jeopardize Delusional’s chances for the Olympics in 2028... And finally in entertainment news, Universal confirmed a July 3rd, 2015 release for “Back to the Future: Parallels” which will be thirty years to the day from the 1985 original. Universal is claiming that the new movie is not necessarily continuation or a remake, but a reimagining wherein Marty McFly was originally played by the late Michael J. Fox, in this version Marty will be Marcia McFly portrayed by former Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus... and the Doc will be slightly younger and played by John Torturro of “Transformer” fame as Marcia journey’s back to the eighties.... And that’s news in a minute for KSHT your source for music from the 1990’s, 2000’s and now on this May 8th, 20--
A hand reaches down and presses the off button.
Lights raise to reveal an electronics department within a sandbox store (i.e. Wal-Mart, K-Mart or Target) and thirty-something man wearing sunglasses at night and pulling a pallet jack. This is KAY, and this just so happens to be his birthday and the start of his night at his place of work.
He pulls the cart towards the HALF PODIUM, the central hub of the department, where SIN, a short woman in her early fifties, is ringing up a Customer.
SIN
...Here you go, you have a nice day.
The Customer exits.
SIN
(to Kay)
You on?
KAY
Afraid so.
SIN
You look stressed.
KAY
Why do customers with small cars buy big TV’s?
SIN
Is that what happened to that fifty inch-er?
KAY
Into the frail hatch of a Mazda.
SIN
Christ.
KAY
Like watching a woman give birth in reverse--
SIN
--Only without the stretch marks.
Kay grimaces.
KAY
Chuck is out there smoking to acknowledge that delivery.
SIN
I didn’t think he smoked?
KAY
I didn’t say it was tobacco.
Another associate, JIM an elderly greaser with a obnoxious southern twang, arrives as if he was passing through.
JIM
Right on. I’ll go join him.
KAY
(to Jim)
Back from you break?
JIM
Nope, headin’ to it.
He continues to exit on the other side.
SIN
God he takes a lot of breaks.
KAY
Tell me about it.
SIN
The only two things I ever seen him move are his mouth and his fat ass to the break room.
KAY
The other one is no help. All she ever does is stand around whining, the other half of the time she spends complaining about having to work between pregnancies.
SIN
She takes after him.
KAY
Same big gut and bloated feet... minus the child, of course.
SIN
Yeah I saw that.
(Hands Kay the keys)
Well now that you’re here, I’ll head to the front and--
She spots something offstage.
SIN (CONT’D)
You might want to ditch the jack.
MIKE, a medium height middle aged Hispanic man, a Store Manager accompanied by a younger, yet roughed up assistant, DAVID, walk up.
SIN (CONT’D)
Too late.
DAVID
What the hell are you doing with pallet jack, boy?
MIKE
Boy?
SIN
I admit I’m confused by that one.
KAY
Did we regress two centuries?
DAVID
Hey its been a while since I worked overnights. Gotta get back in the groove.
MIKE
(Rolls his eyes)
Okay,
(Brain fart)
Boy?
SIN
You got stuck on that one.
MIKE
I know... It was just so out of left field.
KAY
(to Mike)
Well if it puts your mind at ease, sir, you’re the only one with the tenure to deliver disparaging and potentially racist remarks.
MIKE
(to Kay)
Damn right, brother...
(raises his hand)
Give me some, love.
Kay high-fives him.
MIKE
Before Master David’s capitulation... Where was I?
DAVID
The pallet jack.
MIKE
Right... I thought we had an agreement... Nothing heavy... No big freight... no big sales... you need to leave the big ones to David or a cashier... leave your empties for the pallet collectors at the end of the night... Under normal circumstances you would be doing go backs or some minor register jockeying... but you’re the only one certified to be here at this hour. (Not to mention, the only one who knows where any of this shit goes.)
DAVID
That goes ditto here.
KAY
(to Mike)
I-I understand that, sir... and I assure you I am following your orders to the Tee.
MIKE
Then explain the jack.
KAY
I was just doing a favor for a fellow associate on my way back from the front. Chuck took out a big TV for a customer.
DAVID
So where is Chucky?
SIN
The same place you’d be if you just pried a fifty-inch into a hybrid.
DAVID
Again?
MIKE
Damn.
SIN
Yeah that was our general consensus.
MIKE
Well you know you’re being watched right now... You know you’ll be under review soon.
KAY
I know, I know... sorry sir.
MIKE
Well watch your ass... you know what I’m saying?
KAY
I know, I know.
MIKE
‘Cuz unemployment isn’t the birthday present you don’t want.
DAVID
Today’s your birthday.
KAY
Uh yes?
DAVID
Ooh...
KAY
(mumbles)
Oh crap.
David walks over to the Podium, picks up the phone for a page and...
DAVID
(speaking into the intercom)
Attention all customers and associates... We have a birthday amongst our happy time group... Our favorite curmudgeon in electronics, the androg we all know and love, Overnight’s very own Electronics Sales Associate... Kay Lawson is growing a year older.
(Calling Kay over)
Say a kind word to your public.
KAY
No thanks.
David pulls him over, pushing the phone into his face.
KAY (CONT’D)
Hi.
DAVID
So Kay, may I call you Kay?
KAY
Sure.
DAVID
Kay... these are questions well all have and I promise not to get too personal.
KAY
Yeah, I’m sure.
DAVID
So Kay... what is that short for?
KAY
Nothing... It is just Kay.
DAVID
That’s it? You’re parents said okay and dropped the “O”?
KAY
That’s about it.
DAVID
Yeah... So what’s with the Sunglasses?
KAY
I’d rather not.
DAVID
Are you sure?
KAY
No comment.
DAVID
Fair enough.
KAY
Thanks.
DAVID
Final question... How old are you today?
KAY
Uh no.
DAVID
C’mon... today has gotta be a monumental number.
KAY
No, no it doesn’t
DAVID
I’m sure it is.
KAY
I assure you it’s not.
DAVID
Come on.
KAY
No.
DAVID
Well you can’t blame a girl for trying... But you heard it here first that it’s Kay Lawson’s birthday today... when you see him wish ‘em a happy birthday Kay... Happy Birthday Kay.... Happy Birthday Kay... and for all your electronics needs--cellphones, ipods and TV’s---see Kay in electronics and wish ‘em a Happy Birthday... Now you may return to you regular scheduled shopping and stocking... Good night and good luck.
He hangs up the phone. Embarrassed, Kay sighs...
KAY
Edward R. Murrow, you are not.
DAVID
Who?
KAY
Never mind.
DAVID
Well Happy Birthday, Kay and I mean it with love.
He hugs Kay squeezing him.
KAY
Thanks.
He slouches his head.
MIKE
(to David)
You done turning him red?
DAVID
I wanted to make ‘em rosey.
MIKE
After that you could at least get him his freight.
DAVID
Aye-aye.
David takes the pallet jack and exits.
MIKE
(to Kay)
Stick to what we said and don’t let the night get to you.
(pause)
Happy Birthday, man.
KAY
Thanks.
Mike exits.
SIN
That was some announcement.
KAY
Yeah.
SIN
You couldn’t be redder.
KAY
Oh I definitely could.
SIN
Oh I don’t know...
(Singing)
Happy Birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you smell like a--
KAY
--Okay. Thank you.
SIN
Hey, I’m just trying to cheer you up.
KAY
That’s a given. But don’t you have a front to attend to?
SIN
Oh, all right... I’ll talk to you later.
KAY
Later.
Sin exits.
Jim returns with a bit of glee on his face.
JIM
So today’s your birthday?
KAY
Oh crap...
(sighs)
Yes, yes it is my birthday.
JIM
Another year older.
KAY
Yeah.
JIM
The big... what?
KAY
None of your business.
JIM
Ah c’mon give Jim a chance.
KAY
(Sigh)
Fine... I’m entering my mid-thirties and another year closer to forty and let’s leave it at that.
JIM
I thought you were older.
KAY
Yeah most people think so.
JIM
It’s the way you talk.
KAY
Speak.
JIM
See... but you still look like a kid--
David returns, grabbing Kay by the cheeks.
DAVID
--And a beautiful one at that.
KAY
Ouch... thanks
(Looks around)
No freight?
DAVID
Didn’t get it yet... Mike forgot to hand you this.
He holds up two envelopes.
DAVID (CONT’D)
He told me to tell you you’re not supposed to receive personal mail here.
He hands Kay the envelopes.
Kay looks.
KAY
One’s a card from the company.
DAVID
The other isn’t.
JIM
Whose it from?
KAY
(flat)
A publishing company.
JIM
Aren’t you gonna open it.
KAY
Uh...
(crumbles the envelope)
No.
He throws it away.
DAVID
Hey, that could’ve been the one.
KAY
I doubt it.
JIM
You’ve been rejected that much?
KAY
Enough not to bother.
JIM
Ouch, man, that’s cold... even on your birthday?
KAY
Yes, even today... on the day that is today as Mister Subtly here pointed out.
DAVID
Anything to get the word out there.
KAY
Don’t you have freight to fetch?
DAVID
Hey! I’m your boss.
KAY
Not until my freight materlizes on the floor.
DAVID
Who says?
KAY
Mike... so if you’d please... the clock is ticking, after all.
David exits.
KAY
So where were we?
JIM
You’re birthday
KAY
Yes, yes that is today.
JIM
So what you got planned? Going out to get blitz and get laid with some hot chick?
KAY
Hardly.
JIM
Some guy?
Kay grimaces at him.
KAY
Another Mister Subtle.
JIM
Well you never talk about your personal life or being with a girl.
KAY
So you go straight for the jugular and chastise my sexuality?
MARLEY, a short Hispanic woman in her twenties, enters.
MARLEY
It’s not hard you’ve always been a bit gay.
KAY
Thanks.
JIM
And what’s his name?
KAY
Thanks, thank you, you’re no help.
MARLEY
Oh I bet it’s the new guy in pets under Matt.
JIM
Yeah, he’s definitely Kay’s type.
KAY
And this is payback for what exactly?
MARLEY
It is just birthday humor. Lighten up. You take things way too seriously.
David brings out a pallet.
KAY
(under his breathe)
Freight, thank god.
He walks over to the pallet that is half covered by a PDQ.
DAVID
Here you go chief.
Kay looks at it...
KAY
This is a new movie release.
DAVID
Yeah?
KAY
Today’s not Tuesday.
DAVID
The movie lady said to bring it out.
KAY
Okay, fine... Then set it here and take the old one.
DAVID
The empty one?
KAY
That’s the one.
DAVID
So we’re replacing it with this?
KAY
That’s the general idea.
DAVID
Sweet.
David swaps out the two PDQ’s and leaves.
KAY
Thanks.
(Sighs)
Time for the unveiling.
JIM
I thought you weren’t allowed to lift anything heavy?
KAY
A thin piece of cardboard won’t kill me, Jim.
JIM
Suit yourself.
(Reaching out)
Can I get the keys?
Kay removes the keys from his belt and hands them to Jim.
JIM (CONT’D)
Thanks, Boss.
He walks off. Kay salutes him.
Kay takes out his box-cutter and cuts off the top, tossing it to the side. He takes the cardboard by the sides, pulling off the remains in one piece.
He folds it and looks back.
He’s taken out of himself from the sight of the release.
In big bold red letters the side panel of the PDQ reads: “FORLORN”.
KAY
No... no way.
He picks up a copy of the movies and reads the cover.
KAY (CONT’D)
Holy shit.
(short pause)
He did it.
LIGHT FILTERS DOWN.
TO BE CONTINUED…..
CLOSING COMMENTARY:
So there you have it, part one. A few changes did occur. Originally Sin didn’t have as much dialogue early on and Jim spoke more, but I thought it made more sense to establish Kay and Sin’s relationship as soon as possible. Other elements that changed were the mentioning of Kay’s actual age. David’s dialogue got significantly cut down, if you can believe it, and Mike wasn’t as vocal, but apart from those, this is what scene one was like throughout all the drafts. As for the opening, I didn’t write that until the very end.
TEASER:
In part two, what happens when we see a piece of Kay’s past? What was “Forlorn”? Will we know how he lost his mojo or will it prove a greater mystery? Find out in Part Two of “The Next Counter”.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
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