Tonight I had a
stark revelation. A few weeks ago I purchased a home Laser Hair Removal kit for
the same of getting rid of my remaining facial hair. Earlier in the evening
while I was preparing dinner, I finally had the time to read over the directions
and warnings—of the latter, there were several. After careful deliberation and
reliving a number of both physical and painful moments from when I had the
treatments professionally—my face swelling for over a week and a half—not to
mention seeing how my skin reacts to waxing, I realized just how unskilled I
am, nor am I as receptive to unconventional treatments as other people. Just as
dreams from my past that I’ve had to let go, such as tonight’s entry, I might
have to let go the one of a follicle free face. Had I used the device, there is
a strong chance knowing my carelessness, I would have done more damage than
inflicted by those whom I paid to do it. For the time being, first thing
tomorrow I am sending the device back—I already printed out the slip from
Amazon to send it back.
On another note,
today after my waxing appointment, feeling too lazy to go to another copy of
the Enemy, I went into the one I used to work at, managing not to run into
anyone I worked with until my very last round of shopping. It was still strange
seeing these people being abused by their end of the Corporate Americana,
living through shortened hours and shortened dreams. I would have shared battle
scares, mentioning where I work, but there was no point of it. Be it at
Nookland or the Enemy, those who control the resources of our daily lives no
how to bend us over and give it even harder without any regard with how raw it
makes us (physically, socially, mentally, what have you). Somewhere between “1984”
and “A Brave New World” we have landed in the brink of living “Brazil”,
clicking closer to Armageddon of the Tao’s soul. If we are on the verge of all
those tales of this time coming true, before retaliation on both sides of the
aisles come for us the weaker minorities, before the shit hits the fan, I’ll be
resigned by the fact that I’ll have at least been myself for a short while.
I don’t know where
that sidetrack came from, but that is how I have been feeling lately. It is
moments like these that make doing this visitation of my previous works much
easier, especially my last one.
UPDATED COMMENTARY:
From the original
commentary on August 15th, 2010, in part two/scene two I was
compelled to examine the notion of responsibility as the motivation for Kay
(i.e. me) quitting a dream. And looking over the scene in question, I can
clearly see that is only half true. Given a similar circumstance in my own head
at the time, part of what I had felt really beaten down an embarrassed by the
fact I was going nowhere fast. Rich (the real one) on the other hand, seemed to
have a dedication much akin to that of Mark Borchardt—the filmmaker profiled in
“American Movie” (1999)—whereas, I feared sharing the tragedy of that
existence. As I have said before, I don’t really believe or commit to anything,
I can’t take sides on an issue or go to war for anything, and I can’t dedicate
myself to something that is inherently self-defeating, such as an art. That
lack of grounding I feel comes across—not so subtly—in the dialogue between Kay
and Rich. In reality, I can say without a doubt it where the contention between
the real Rich, Groggy-Ego, and I existed. I don’t know, maybe as the author I
am reading too much into it. You decide. Here’s Part Two of “The Next Counter”…
“THE NEXT COUNTER”
(pt. 2 of 7)
SCENE II:
MORE THAN HALF A DECADE AGO:
LIGHT is focused on the computer aisle.
Kay is in everyday clothing and his hair is out. He is walking
down the aisle with a short man wearing a handmade Forlorn T-Shirt. This man is
RICH, the one with a produced film in the present.
Kay is reading through a script, pretending to listen to Rich.
RICH
...So I think it would be great to have Cole stand in front of a
mirror and see his reflection...
KAY
Uh-huh.
RICH
...And then have the glass shatters to the many overtones of the
ghost’s voices...
KAY
Uh-huh.
RICH
...Then I think it would be great for him to spread his arms like
he is being crucified.
KAY
Crucified, yeah that’s real... original.
Rich realizes Kay isn’t paying attention.
RICH
Then Richard Nixon and Optimus Prime will duke it out reffed by
Kevin Smith in Vietnam.
KAY
Kevin Smith the ref... It’ll be pretty hot in Nam with that
coat... That’ll be a hell of a dream.
RICH
(Stops walking)
Dammit Kay! You’re not listening.
Kay stops and turns to him.
KAY
No, I’m not.
RICH
What the hell? I haven’t seen you in over a year, you have me meet
you here and then you act like you don’t care.
KAY
Well...
(sighs)
I don’t.
RICH
Dude!
KAY
Don’t dude, me... Christ, Rich--
RICH
--Hey! Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.
KAY
Seriously... Not my god, man.
RICH
Atheist!
KAY
Yeah and?
RICH
(Scoffs)
Nothing.
KAY
Exactly, nothing.
(Short Pause)
Rich you have been working on that movies for what? Five years
now?
RICH
Four!
KAY
Four years... wow, that’s...
(mulls over)
RICH
What?
KAY
Stupid.
RICH
Stupid?
KAY
For something as insignificant as a movie... a single movie.
RICH
You feel that way about your stuff but I don’t feel that way about
my films.
KAY
Four years is a great waste... a waste of time, a waste of effort,
a waste of everything... So much has happened... and so much could have
happened.
RICH
I’m sure you’re right, but I’m also sure taking this long happened
for a reason... God has a plan for me, Kay, a plan for us all... I’m sure he
has a good reason for all that has happened. I don’t care if it takes ten years
to finish my film, come hell or high water I will finish it.
KAY
Well... “God” Bless you, man... you have a level of tenacity I
don’t think I ever had.
RICH
That’s not true.
KAY
I think it is. I can’t put off growing up forever.
RICH
You think I’m not an adult?
KAY
Doing ghost stories are--
(Changes his train of thought)
Look, man, you and Lisa want to be kids for the rest of your
lives... She wants to take classes towards no end and you want to make movies.
Which is great for you guys, but I feel like I have to be responsible.
(sighs)
And that’s kinda why I’m here today, not just to meet with you,
but to swallow my pride and get a job... an actual job.
RICH
Well good luck with that, dude... just don’t grow up too fast,
otherwise you might grow old before your time.
KAY
Yeah...
(Scoffs)
We’ll see.
(short pause)
And, man, good luck with the movie. I’m sure something will happen
with it.
RICH
Even if it is stupid?
KAY
What do I know, man? You might be right.
RICH
Thanks for saying that.
KAY
Yeah.
RICH
(Extending his hand)
Good luck, Kay.
Kay shakes his hand. The two hug as brothers.
KAY
You too, Rich.
Kay pats Rich on the back and the two part offstage.
LIGHTS FADE.
CLOSING COMMENTARY:
Compared to the
Original Closing Commentary, I pointed out I was surprised by how good-natured
the conversation between Kay and Rich turned out to be, especially with the
amount of anxiety I was feeling at the time. Sufficed to say, working the
Department Five Diablo (the Electronics Department) within the Enemy at the
time, I figured the greatest cosmic insult to injury would have been seeing his
movie in the weekly’s new releases. Granted, that is still a possibility within
the cage of Nookland (a secure section for electronic releases within the
warehouse), at least I wouldn’t have to stock the fucking thing. I tried to
play off writing the conversation—that never took place by the way—as a means
of facing a fear, but in hindsight I see it as a way of mocking youthful
ambitions. If I had to re-write it today, I would probably have made Kay even
less involved in the opening conversation and restored the original
distractions from the surroundings they are chatting just to keep it ambiguous.
Having an early revelation from Kay this early on kind of deflates the next
scene, my favourite scene.
TEASER:
Next week, we
catch up to the last scene from the original analysis, my favourite scene. In
the present, Kay is confronted by different pieces of his past. If a child’s
ambition was set aside for the responsibility of adulthood, then how
responsible is it to set aside even more? Does self-inflicted estrangement
prove to be the right course of action or will we see even more regret from our
androgynous clerk? Find out Next Week in Part Three of “The Next Counter”
Revisited.
